Marshall-isms

You know that boy who made you feel so special just by looking at you, you felt like you'd never been looked at before that moment, ever? You know the look I'm talking about. When Marshall looked at me, it was like he looked INTO me. He would get this little half-smile and his eyes would gleam like he knew something no one else knew, and I felt like I was the only girl in the world who existed at all to him.

Marshall liked to sing. His voice could transform into any voice he wanted, and he has this amazing ability to remember every single lyric from every song he's ever heard. This gives him the unique ability to be romantic in any situation, and romance is what Marshall does best. His talent is presentation; everything he does is done with intention and smooth finesse. He described me as an angel, called me beautiful nicknames, and when he sang it felt like he wrote the song just for me. 

Our time together always felt like nothing in the world was more important to him. I'll never forget the moments we spent together those first few months, but I'll also never remember the words that were said. I used to think it was his words that were beautiful, but I think now it was just the way he presented them to me that left a beautiful impression I can't ever erase.

He disappeared when I became engaged to my son's father. I didn't see him or talk to him for months, but I thought of him every day. I missed him and worried about him. He didn't have a cell phone and lived in his friend's basement, so getting a hold of him was basically impossible. The only way for me to see him was to drop in unannounced to his school or the house where he was living and hope he would be there.

The first time I drove up to his house, I was completely embarrassed to find him out on the porch with his new girlfriend. I drove the Big Red van with the hood tied down with a rope, so it wasn't exactly discreet when I showed up. His new girlfriend didn't seem to notice or mind that I was there, probably assuming I was there for someone else in the house, and she was on her way out anyway. I spent some time with Marshall that day, finding out a little bit about the new girl in his life. I asked if he loved her and he said yes. My heart sunk. She and her best friend were dating Marshall and his best friend, so they had a lot of fun together and she was really great.

I went home that day consumed with the realization that I may have lost him forever. I tried to stay away from him, I really did. I was going to leave him and his new girlfriend alone to ride off into the sunset together. But it wasn't more than a couple of days before I was dying to see him again. And then a couple of days after that... and eventually we were spending time together regularly again. (I don't know if she knew that, but I doubt it.)

One night I got a phone call from him, late. He was drunk and didn't have a ride home from a party, so I agreed to pick him up. I drove thirty miles to pick him up from an apartment I'd never seen before, and he was more drunk than I'd ever seen him (or anyone else) before. I asked him a few questions about his night and he just broke down crying, going on and on about how unfair it was that I left him and ruined everything.  He was still heartbroken. It was the first hint I had that he was still in love with me. I realized that night that New Girlfriend was probably just a rebound, and I made the decision to pursue him. Right then I was just the girl he called for a sober ride home, but I was going to get him back.