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April 2012

It's been nine years since I decided Marshall was the one I should spend my life with.

You know how they say marriage is ups and downs, ebbs and flows? Well let's just say Marshall and I have been on a roller coaster or two. The ebbs and flows between us are more like tsunamis.

When I was a little girl my mother used to sing this little song to (about) me. It went something like this..

There once was a little girl with a curl right in the middle of her forehead
And when she was good, she was very, very good
But when she was bad, she was horrid.

It's like that.

When things are good, we are on top of the world. We really ARE the greatest love story ever (un)written. But when things are bad, they are horrid. Volatile is the word that comes to mind.

I'm writing this so I won't forget.
I'm writing this so I won't have to remember.
I'm writing this to figure things out...

Where did things go so wrong?
Were they wrong from the start? Were we just plain wrong all along?
Are there more bad times than good, or does it just seem that way?

Maybe I already know the answers to all these questions. Maybe the answers don't really exist, maybe this is just a memoir.

In the end, if the "end" even really exists at all, we have been through a hell of a lot together. At the very least it will make one hell of a story.